The Brewy Decimal System

We just reshuffled the beer cooler for the billionth (and last) time. Beer is the ugly stepchild in our business, but it shouldn't be. Brewing dates back to pre-history, and the variety and subtlety found in beer is probably exceeded only by that of wine and chocolate.

We've always thought that we should treat beer with the same respect as our other products. And while we've always maintained an informal system of organization that attempted to keep similar beers together in the cooler, we've finally formalized that system.

Enquiring beer minds will now notice the shiny signs at the top of each cooler door. We've segregated our beer into eight categories, as follows: Light Lager; American Lager; Pilsner & Wheat Beer; European Lager; Pale Ale; Ale; Dark Ale; and Fruit Grenades.

Each category contains a brief explanation of these beer types, which I won't include here because that will just make it easier for our competitors to steal yet another of our awesome, revolutionary booze marketing ideas.

The point of the signs is to help our customers to educate themselves, and to expand their beer horizons. Life is way too short to be boring, people. Let's all live a little ! - Ned Blugman